Ranty Rant :P

Tue Aug 26, 2008, 12:03 PM

Ah righty-o so here's the thing. My dear obsessive compulsive schtizo aunt has ironically decided I am some sort of real life literal goblin I probably could think of a better term but I like that one. Paranoia can do that and hers is getting to her in a way that's starting to be offensive. She comes into the room proclaiming I unscrewed the showerhead ever so slightly as for it to leak an insignificant ammount of water. Now at first she comes in and says I unscrewed the showerhead which I just stare at her in mild confusion for that is an odd statement unless I being fully aware with actual purpose did it then it'd be something memorable. She then more frustrated still explains further about it being minutely and letting out a small drip. I tell her I was not aware of the situation and I don't think it was me. She snaps and calls me a liar and remarks I make up new lies and excuses each day. This is rather extremely offensive for me because I've done nothing but help her with the house and cared for grandpa and gotten nothing from her back but ungrateful rants based on unreal facts and secondly I do not lie about things like that I'm responsible for my actions and dislike excuses so it's even more personally offensive.

She has however taken to just assuming everything that goes wrong in the house is linked to me. About everything I do right, which is daily chores I guess she either ignores them or believes thats the sweatless flawless order of things probably both. Then again she has on several incidents thrown a fit about something that she did wrong and taken credit for what I've done to correct it. Example coming over and rudely telling me the air conditioner can't be too cold I merely remark I'm the one who turned it down to fan when I found it on high. She says that she thought she did, her eyes glaze over in idiot confusion then a brief realization and she walks away no apology given. This and a she starting pissing her head off about something "I" left in the microwave, without even looking inside, turned out it was something she left there herself these incidents are horribly outnumbered and yield no positive outcome. She's delusional enough to the point everything negative is attributed to me and everything positive is attributed to herself.

She fixates on ridiculously small issues like a minutely unscrewed showerhead, an unfinished water bottle on a table in my room, a wet sink yes just the fact that its WET I won't get started on that, a bed done and not completely exactly smooth regardless that I'm about to lay in it and wrinkle it, food in the sink which she's taken to blaming me for any minute residue of anything left in the kitchen.

Her mania and paranoia bases on me regardless that I'm unrelated to it she bases it on fantasy to blame me for it or bases it on plain mania like the unfinished water bottle next to me which regardless that I'm not done drinking its nevertheless pure sin. Either way she enjoys blaming me for absoloutely everything which I'm unrelated to and if by some accident of nature I actually am which is doubtful but let's give her that maybe at least. I'm not even aware of it for her to walk in angrily proclaiming making it sound I purposely broke the showerhead and being completely aware of the fact, hid it from here then feigned confusion on her oh so righteous discovery and am full of lies and excuses.
The stupidity of that scenario and the person who not only imagines it but believes it is staggering as was for the other incidents at first. However it is starting to be a daily ritual of me moving her things when I don't, breaking her things when I haven't touched them and leaving things I've cleaned dirty. These accusations being based on pure paranoid fantasy funnelled on me because I'm the only other person here. Grandpa can't actually move from the bed. I am blameless I know this and knowing this has let me ignore her as something I must tolerate to be with my grandfather and care for him. However it's becoming daily and she's getting bold enough to openly insult and accuse more and more on a regular basis. It could be said grinding on a stone and starting to tick me off.

Ironic the fact that I have tried adjusting to her OCD by DRYING the sink after using it by keeping unfinished water bottles in the fridge and having to get up 2 minutes later to get them as well as gritting my teeth and nodding when she calls me an excuse filled liar over stating the simple and true fact there is rice in the sink and I have not cooked or dealt with rice in weeks or used the kitchen at all since the afternoon of the earlier day.

On the showehread it is old, so old it's actually brittle and would break even if it fell just casually. It's based on some cheap mix that gives it a feeling of plastic and ceramic. When we showered grandpa he twisted and pulled it all the time. It might've gotten loose and bumped against a shower wall. I might've adjusted my grip on it as well as her causing the minute leak to spring. Things decay and nobody I'm sure broke it on purpose. Walking into my room automatically embracing as a fact I knowingly broke it then hid the fact then feigned unawareness and calling me a liar is really offensive especially for me especially because it's not the first time.

As you can see I go around never actually making messes but leaving residues and particles and making insignificantly small flaws in things. When she throws her tantrums at me in less then two hours she always and she hasn't failed yet. Grandpa's legs have seized up and athrophied. She decides to stretch them while telling him he's the one doing this to himself and he should just RELAX! RELAX YOUR LEGS DAMNIT! and him just screaming and crying and begging for it to stop.

He has brain damage and she is brisk and rude and sometimes insults him when he doesn't make sense and calls him old or crazy. He for as much brain damage he may have understands this and is sad afterwards. I go along with it I let him call me by his brother's name or whatever he deicdes to call me and have conversations and listen when he explains to me that the stains on the wall don't move or agree with him when he talks to the tv. She stretched his legs and he started crying for his sister my aunt in all her considerate tender joy whilst stretching them starting asking him what the hell he was talking about that his sister was DEAD and had been for YEARS. I don't know if she times some of the little playing idiot doctor sessions after our little clashes to mess with me. I'm always there grim and silent holding his hand even when his knees crackle and snap which is obviously NOT willing. Last time she left, in which she was also loudly verbal on him being crazy and his sister being dead, He was left tearful and shaking. I threw the handrail all the way down, basically dragged him an propped him against me and spent over an hour holding him and telling him it was over and I loved him and asking him if he knew that and he would just mumble or nod yes and squeeze me. She much later came in and remarked he looked very awake and happy and well... no comment. Lately she's opted to keep him completely drugged with a higher dose which means he's sleeping all the time and I just read or get him to answer me if he needs anything or how he's feeling but I just get mumbles. Headline is she's starting to get cocky and daring with vocalizing her paranoia funelled on me and she's drugged grandpa to the point I spent time watching over him not actually with him. I think I'm hardworking and responsible I will admit I'm because of that a proud person to the point of arrogant. I take this much insult which I wouldn't from anyone else and probably will continue to do so as well as tolerated her so much simply for the fact I care for him greatly and don't want him alone with her ever. He comes first though she's been walking a knife's edge on my abilitiy to swallow her treatmtnet of him.

Now I have to get off the computer because you know I damage her computer also by leaving it on regardless if it's actually getting new windows updates or scanning for viruses... I just use it when she's not around now to avoid complications over it altogether.