Thu Oct 30, 2008, 9:46 PM
I have a theory! I was reflecting upon this dream I had and realized in it, like in others, i'm woken by an outside event or factor. My nightmares have faded for almost a 2 months, except for the occasional one but I won't complain it beats daily 4-5 times a week, but that's just a sidenote. Thing is I can usually have dreams that end before I'm woken by whatever external factor. Not just cut short even in the case of nightmares but they do actually end even if in a climax of desperate horror in case of nightmares. Last one was that my grandfather's limbs were merging into his torso and I was trying to stop them because he was crying and I was screaming during it.. or he was screaming and I was crying... or we were doing both. It simply got more futile and frantic and the room started shaking until I simply held him and took him with me out the door. Then I woke gently (although disturbed) because someone was knocking on the door. This was in the hosptal but what drew my attention was the time factor between the dream and the physical event.
More recent, today the phone rang twice before I picked it up and grumbled something unintelligeble into it. I was having a dream about a dear friend being lost and me following her without being able to catch up while she looked hopelessly confused, that sequence seems long looking back at it. Yet when the phone rang it ended with me catching up and hugging her and talking. Once again not a short sequence. Upon reflecting on it I realized I've been also woken under the alike circumstances or ways before.
So I came to think to myself. How is dream time defined? I have a feeling not by real world standards at all. If you try to examine sequences shortly before being woken or whilst being half awake the impression they give don't add up with the time it takes to come out of sleep. The waking is shorter and the dream sequence seems longer than it. So how does the brain manage it? I'll take a guess and say dreams are run at thought speed and that's why we can cram actions that'd take us minutes to do into real-time seconds or less in our dreams. Why do my dreams climax when I'm about to wake either by myself or from external factors. That I'm not sure at all. It's like they try to resolve themselves before I wake.
In other news my laptop is here again and it's defective... again. The CD reader is broken and the keyboard doesn't light up as it should. I do not recommend alienware Unless they give me coupons I troubleshot with technicians for 8 hours straight today (the same day I got it, 15 minutes later actually) it ended with either send it back or we'll send you spare parts and tell you how to replace them. Not sure what to do yet. My camera is still pregnant like a sow and I won't download the pictures into a omputer that might be sent back or wiped. This makes me sad since I was really looking forward to taking more pictures and now I can't
I cook for myself all the time now and it's fun. I've always enjoyed cooking but I've been thinking about vegetarism. Rice is my favorite I can eat buckets I usually eat like two pieaces of chicken and a BUCKET of rice when I feel like indulging
Well I eat meat in part because I know supermarkets throw away food that's about to expire under LOCK AND KEY so homeless people can't steal and eat it or other people sell it. I've always been aware I'm eating another being's flesh and it revolts me when I come across a whole meat meal. I can imagine digging into a person's flesh (not that different from the animal's) and chewing and gulping ugh *shudder* I really don't mind it that much when I cook for myself and respect the animal. I also make extensive use of herbs and vegetables and other edibles to alongside it, meat is never the main course just part of the diet. I'm odd enough to have borrowed thanking the animal and asking for forgiveness from it's spirit since I was 9 from watching an African Hunter do it on the discovery channel. I believe he was a Massai. Before that I always felt bad over it, I grew up with animals for friends and have always kept a large number of pets and had a strong affinity for them, however I had nowhere to channel the empathy and sadness over being served a butchered penned miserable animal. Oddly enough I feel less guilty if I cook them something pretty and thank them. Not half burn the chicken alongside some hasty made greasy fries it feels despective and insulting. If someone were to eat me at least grill me right and serve me with veggies and clean your plate mister! I just can't understand how people go "I feel like casually devouring the flesh of a living being today just like every other day!"
The only thing that stops me from being vegetarian are the facts I know supermarkets throw meat out. It pisses me off there are children starving and they can't get profit and money out of their minds to have an ounce of humanitarian thought. My family thinks meat is great and feel no remorse and if the few that do are hypocritical. "Industrial Farming is Horrible!" *15minutes later* "I want a tripple whopper with cheese"... meh so doing it in my teens would've meant not eating most of what was on the table or the fridge. I personally love seafood, it would be the biggest thing for me to leave. Fish, crustaceans and mollusks don't inspire that much sympathy in me for some reason, guess it's their lack of emotion, expression and lack of pain sensetivity. I know, for example lobsters don't feel when they're boiled. Seafood just gives me the impression of clockwork edible things and as I said before inspire little to no sympathy. It's like if you winded up a toy and told me it was edible. I favor of seafood or all-veggie meals! A lot easier now that I'm alone most of the day and cook for myself. So It's a start so hopefully someday soon I'll be able to buy my own groceries.
I adore raisin bread peanut butter sandwiches. Everyone should try them once!
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