New Jersey

Wed Jul 9, 2008, 6:20 AM

Dear person-friends

I arrived here somewhere over week ago though I have very little concept of time at the moment to know for sure. It was the fourth of July so I got to see Fireworks from above on the plane which was neat.

Currently residing in a 2 room, 1 bathroom, basement, 1 kitchen/dining room apartment.

Grandpa's quite ill, when his painkillers and morphine patch ran out the other day because my aunt let it go for a few minutes over he started crying from the pain.

I make breakfast, do dishes and tidy up. I feed grandpa, talk to him, change him and watch documentaries with him. His mind's pretty gone. He speaks incoherent things, forgets where he is and doesn't recognize sometimes. He started yelling "Don't touch my mango!" when my aunt was changing him. He refused to eat his oatmeal because he claimed it had aluminum in it because my aunt made a comment about aluminum earlier. He says he won't die like his sister because he pulls ripe carrots the right way. He says there are bears in the house so on. He needs the company though. If I'm watching tv with him and get up he asks me to "Please stay here immediately" I just sit back down and hold his hand some more and wait for him to fall asleep.

He has a tumor developing in his spine as well which has grown enough to be seen in his skin. It's inbetween vertebrae so he can't sit for extended periods of time yet being on the bed all the time is causing circulation and skin issues too. I'll be staying here either two weeks or six months if I decide to stay. I'm willing it's up to my aunt and mom to also approve.

Random sidenote. The computer here, which i'm currently on, is on the basement it's as old as mine but a lot more damaged. My aunt left it with no firewalls or antivirus for two years because "I don't download anything" needless to say I spent three days fixing it into something workable and got 7 viruses out, 16 trojans and hundreds of cookies. It's still slow but it beats waiting 5 minutes for a window to come up like before. Keyboard's clanky and the spacebar should have fallen off so I apologize for errors.

My loner nature wins over when grandpa's sleeping and I retreat to the basement with a comp, tv and a cage of smelly ferrets for company. I brought three books On: Symbology, Philosphy and Mythology. I've already re-read them a few times and made notes with them. My Ipod's battery went pewf. Tool's such an awesome band though blame them. Got a poem and a bunch of drawings done.

I watch documentaries or animal planet though I've never been a fan of tv. Kinda gets to you because I haven't really left the place and am running out of options. I stood in the sun and ran around the grass like an idiot two days ago when I took out a huge garbage bag but hey it was fun.

My aunt believes in aliens and psychic attacks and all that jazz. She told me I can't conventionally wash dishes becase food PARTICLES are left. I just stand there looking back at all my time cleaning dishes with a dirty rag or sponge at home. There's a dishwasher here and to be honest I don't like it for the fact I've never seen one before and it makes odd noises. My aunt comes home from work and switches whichever program me and grandpa are watching on the science or history channel for a soap novel or a talk show of "My son was sleeping with my wife" (his stepmom) which makes me instinctively give an annoyed glare then rein it in rolling my eyes and a quiet sigh.

I want to stay even though it looks dull and grim, I don't want to leave him I've been plauged by more often than my already frequent nightmares too. Well Adiu for now ladies and gents.