I are pissed >_>

Sat Aug 2, 2008, 12:13 PM

Well it should be noted I'm angry those who know me well know I don't get angry merely irritated most of the time but let me explain. Dad was right and this is a bloody conspiracy. I who has not had any remarkable birthday in the last 6 years except a "you don't have to do all your chores today" and an empathic 20$ from a random family member.

Oh ho is suddenly getting the most awesome desktop ever. My pleas for a LAPTOP are ignored with vague excuses. Because you see all of a sudden my aunt doesn't want or need my woman beating unemployed uncle back. I do too good of a fucking job. So hey wouldn't it be nice if we could use Seb as a nurse and to provide around the clock care whilst not feeling guilty by sending him to college while he's here too. I don't mind doing things out of my own free will or being asked to but this is...

Wait don't tell him anything though let's manipulate him because he won't realize it. Dear god there are steps being taken for me to live here for YEARS. Let's praise his work and remark we don't know what we'd do without him every damn day and buy him cucumbersome random birthday gifts so he's stuck there and not mobile. Let's remodel the room he's staying in to be HIS room. His replacement? fuck him we got all we need here. He doesn't even go out except to take the trash every 3 days and he barely sees the light of day. He loves his grandfather and holds his hands for hours, he feeds him, he changes him, he talks to him, he knows the pills he takes, he's always there and he's always patient so why get a nurse? Now let the disgusting manipulation begin.

So they bring it up closely related topics or casual mentions with great enthusiasm and of course the other option of me not doing so or going back with great sadness. As I said they're starting to make arrangements for me to stay here for YEARS in the current situation and eventually college plus the current situation because you know I'm not stressed enough right now as it is. My uncle who was my ticket out is being erased out of the picture because he's a slacking bum and I'm so much a better replacement. I'm struggling to be polite and stay mobile but this is starting to be outrageous. Boom I know we haven't really given you a birthday gift in the last 6 years but here you go a desktop with a screen bigger than the tv in your room now... stay... good boy! SCREW YOU I'M NOT A DOG! They keep me on a guranteed guilt trip everytime I think about leaving with praise about how irreplacable and good I am. This is LOW.

I'm so angry right now it's not funny. I really really can't cope with being manipulated by people who think me a stereotypical idiot teenager with a kind heart then take steps to use me. I would stay for a year if I was asked to kindly. The agreed timeline was 5-6 months for my uncle to come back and it's been barely 2 and my aunt's obsessive manias, my isolation from not leaving the apartment from weeks on end, caring for grandpa 24/7 is really it shames me to say it draining the life out of me. Maybe my aunt is fine with coming home EVERY SINGLE DAY and locking herself inside from the germs, the pollen and the sexual predators as her paranoia dictates then compulsively watch mexican soaps and repeat the next day. I am however sane for now though I will admit its eroding and if the current state of events continues for 2 years I'd rather not think about it.

My two aunts are in it my mom is in it like some sort of manipulation trio this might tickle my paranoia but I get the distinct feeling they talk behind my back on what to do with me. Dad's the only one screaming himself hoarse with concern and denouncing them as manipulating wenches out to use me for their ends and I thought him a pessimist.

These are the kind of people who bought me a shitty computer because I NEEDED one for school in 2003 and come 2008 they were still using it on guilt trips to manipulate into cleaning up their shit. I will not refresh that dishonourable leverage again so I'm sending the computer desktop, laptop whatever to hell I'll buy my own someday.