There is something wrong with me

Well after the aforementioned horrid attempts of interacting online with other human beings I just made another messenger account and started talking with myself.

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Seb: I is serious cat!
Sebastian Fuentes: no thee is not
Sebastian Fuentes: take that back
Seb: make me
Sebastian Fuentes: I SHALT MURDER THEE AND CAST THY INNARDS TO THE SEA DRAGONS
Seb: Thou shall try
Sebastian Fuentes: and succeed...
Seb: villain I say!
Seb: villain!
Sebastian Fuentes: How do does thee dare!
Seb: I'm not sure...
Sebastian Fuentes: I is serious cat here!
Seb: Nay!
Seb: I is serious cat
Seb: I is the most serious cat to talk this earth in the last ten thousand years!
Sebastian Fuentes: I is the most serious cat to walk this plane of existence in the last ten millennia!
Seb: lies I say!
Sebastian Fuentes: truth
Seb: if indeed
Sebastian Fuentes: yes?
Seb: Where do babies come from?
Sebastian Fuentes: I'm... I'm not sure...
Seb: aha!
Sebastian Fuentes: well do you know?
Seb: um no...
Sebastian Fuentes: Woohoo I win
Seb: you don't know either ayah silly face

I was raped by an anthropomorphic tiger

More internet fun, a random guy pretending to be a tiger online tried to have cybersex with me. Another friend told me to add him, I came to regret the decision.

Copy+paste. Some people need counseling.

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Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
I want to be rubbed
Seb says:
good for you
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*lays down and licks my hind leg showing off my hindquarters*
Seb says:
nice um... stripes
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*licks my sheath*
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
Mr. Muffins..... *rubs against your leg purring* This kitten is very hot.... *whimpers*
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
Mr. Muffins..... *rubs against your leg purring* This kitten is very hot.... *whimpers*
Seb says:
calm down there cowboy
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*licks your leg*
Seb says:
Why my dear anthropomorphic tiger friend are you trying to mate with me?
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*sits down and looks at you whimpering*
Seb says:
there there
Seb says:
I'm sure there is a nice tiger person out there for you
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*rubs against your leg affectionately purring*
Seb says:
out there... not on my leg
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*whimpers and tries to get on your leg*
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*whimpers and tries to get on your leg*
Seb says:
bad kitty
Seb says:
I'd throw water at you but tigers swim
Seb says:
and outside that are very large deadly felines
Seb says:
so
Seb says:
I'm out of ideas
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*wraps my front paws around your leg and pushes my sheath against your foot*
Seb says:
you're an anthropomorphic tiger with a foot fetish?
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*grunts and humps you moving my sheath under your pants as something wet touches your skin*
Seb says:
*flails wildly*
Seb says:
This is the worst acid trip I've ever had!
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*grunts harder as something warm goes up your leg slightly leaving a soft wet feeling*
Seb says:
quite the sick trip friend but I really need to get ready for work
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*gets off your leg my erect member slipping from your pants dripping pre*
Seb says:
thank you
Sazu the Gay Tiger says:
*licks at my red member as it withdraws back in my sheath**